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that's code. Figure it out ;)
Life does what it wants. Life goes the way it wants. Life will always do what it wants. Life seems very selfish. I am very selfish. I think life is about expressing yourself....to the world. To people you love. To yourself even. The more you do something the more natural it becomes to you right...the more you live less selfishly, the more you learn to love and the more you communicate - things that may not be as natural to you as others - then slowly they start to become who you are. These are not bad things to do, or to learn. Not like the more you practice killing people the more natural it becomes - which it probably true too - but there's always a line to be drawn when showing yourself something new! I express myself through writing, music, poetry, art, my own life, my friends, and this works for me. Sometimes other people can express themselves through their actions, or through their speaking to others, or however else people work, but most just do what's natural to them. So why is it so hard for someone to sit down and be disciplined to read a book for their distance learning class? B/c they have ADD and they can't sit still for more than ten minutes and when they do read they forget what they have read or their mind wanders into a dreamland and once they catch up to it, they're just exhausted lol. I relate to many movies that have Johnny Depp in them, because his characters usually remind me of myself...in the way that they're just strange, and they think differently than most average people around them. They express themselves in different ways, and it's hard for others to understand but it doesn't bring them down anymore. But either way this is nothing of our control...life doesnt work like that. There is nothing people can do about anything. I always thought that I had to make life the way I wanted it to be. I made my old life the way I wanted it to be apparently, but did I? Did I really choose to be a homeless drug addict? Did I really choose to push away love and emotion and security for a life of violence and anger? You ask why someone would do that, well believe me that I ask myself that all the time. When I look back I don't even think I knew what i was doing, but I was still doing it. And experience after experience just piled up and I ended up where I was, but did I choose that? Maybe it was my parents who paved the way for my rebellion. I mean my birth parents not my parents now, b/c they were crazy drug addicts too apparently. Either way, right now, what can I do to make my life go the way I want it to? I had this thought in my head that I could change my destiny, or change fate, or control where my days go and how they go, and I think I can choose what I do each day but I cannot choose consequences - yet I do know possible ones to certain actions. Anyways, I think that people are just floating through life always trying to make it great and not realizing that maybe it is not up to us but up to what people say is God, or fate, or luck. Maybe they're all the same I don't know. Either way, whatever you practice becomes your nature, so choose something good.