what the mel?!

Its been a while hey. But what is a while? Is it seconds? Minutes? Hours? Did it even exist? The time from my last post to now... was it even real? What if life is a coma. And you wake up, and there are completely different people standing around you than who you were expecting. And then you wake up a life that's completely different than the one you were just living! You would never see those people or those places ever again. Now that you are awake.
In that case who wants to be enlightened. Sometimes dreaming is far better than the reality, and the known is better than the unknown. Or maybe it isn't better, we are just too scared to try. But how do we know any of this really exists. Just b/c we are told, or we read it on the internet. We are told we exist and so we believe it, because it doesn't make sense to think we are not really here. I think it makes perfect sense. We always have to know. We always have to have an explanation, and if things are too messed up to explain, then we make something up that sounds good, and is something that people will hold onto. We always need a hope, or a reward. Can't life be the reward? Sometimes though, life is too hard for people, b/c here we can feel so much pain. And they hate it so much, they can't handle it. And they have their minds set on the next part of the journey, to not feel any pain. But who knows? Who really knows?! Nobody. Except the dead. Have they told anyone alive that there is no more pain? We don't go to a heaven or a hell based on how good we did in this life, do we? We go to another time maybe. Another path on the journey we are to make, who knows how long it is. This is just one part. We have had paths before to go through, and this is another one. Once we are done this one we will go to another one. Our soul goes, and we always find those other souls that our soul fell in love with.
But people have terrified each other with stories of death and how awful it could be if you aren't the right person. Or we have terrified ourselves with fear of the unknown. I am in constant fear of death, or losing my loved ones, and I am just starting to try to figure out what it means to face it and be free, as my wise husband Jim Morrison has said to do! We should follow wisdom and not rules, however that looks to you. And I feel like I have tried everything just to find peace, and have only found fear and anguish. So I'm done freaking out and trying everything I can, and I am just going to be, and learn, and let be what may be.